People often contact me about coaching because they have projects they are having trouble finishing for one reason or another. Usually, but not always, they have goal in mind—finishing a book, dissertation, or graduate degree; getting tenure or a promotion; becoming better organized, reducing household clutter, finding a new job, becoming more effective in the job they have, or being happier. Reaching their goals involves taking action steps and may involve changes in routines, thought habits, lifestyles, careers, and writing or working patterns. What they often don’t know is that change happens in stages, and in one model, action is the fourth of six stages: precontemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, maintenance, and termination. This month’s newsletter will explain the first two of these stages.
Precontemplators may not even be aware of their need for change; in fact, they may be in denial or actively resisting change. However, they may be feeling hopeless or demoralized about some aspect of their lives. Often they begin to be aware of these feelings due to comments from others like, “Why don’t you stop complaining and do something about it?” “When are you going to finish your [book, dissertation, graduate program] and get on with your life?” “When are you going to take time for me [or for yourself]?” The precontemplation stage can go on for a very long time.
Contemplators are in the “thinking about it” stage. They are aware of their need for change, but often think they will do it “someday.” Since they are conscious about their particular problems, they may find that references to the issue coming up in movies, TV shows, newspaper and magazine articles, online stories, even music. As they move towards the preparation stage, contemplators are evaluating their lives and the issues they are now aware of feeling stuck about. A move to action while in the contemplation stage may be premature and probably won’t result in a change that sticks.
Does either of these stages sound familiar to you? Is there some area of your life where you feel hopeless or that people comment about to you? Is there an issue that keeps coming up again and again in your environment and hits you at a gut level? In the next newsletter, we will look at the preparation and action stages. However, if you want to read more about the stages of change right now, take a look at Changing for Good by James Prochaska, John Norcross, and Carlo Diclemente.
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